My husband and I have been married going on 6 years. In that six years we have fought, we get angry at each other, but we both have said neither of us have ever felt like our marriage was rocky or questionable. We actually have friends and family that feel our marriage is unusual, but really there are 2 key factors that keep our marriage strong. They are….
Honesty and Communication
My husband and I are incredibly honest. No secrets and we each know everything about our pasts. There’s no jealousy. I understand that his past is his past. Who he slept with, who he has dated, even what they did or didn’t do, does not bother me. We can both talk about exes, dates, even past sex with partners and its no big deal. We’ve learned and grown from those experiences and sharing that growth to understand where each other has been, and how far we come, has been essential.
We understand that both of us can be attracted to other people and still be fully committed to each other.
It does not bother me if we are at a restaurant and my husband looks at another woman or mentions she’s hot. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t think I am. We keep our marriage strong so I know it doesn’t mean he’d ever leave me or cheat on me. It’s okay to find others attractive and we are open and honest about it.
We can Joke around with each other but know when we hit a line or when the day just isn’t right.
We joke around with each other and at times that is actually making fun of one another. But, we understand that somedays one or the other of us is just worn down, perhaps extra emotional, in need of reassurance, and we are able to apologize, back up, or full on stop when a line was hit or it’s just not the right day.
Listening, learning, and changing our perspective when warranted is huge.
This helps us resolve any disagreement, but it also helps us meet eye to eye as a couple on topics that arise, such as raising our kids. We don’t always agree on parenting techniques, but we discuss each other’s perspective, and we understand when we need to come up with a compromise.
We do what we can to understand each other’s anxieties and accommodate them when the other needs, BUT also, we make sure not to enable each other on anxieties we probably just need to push through.