Finding Sanity in Motherhood
“Just relax” is actually a common phrase out of my husband’s mouth. Why? Because I’m an anxious person. I hate being late, I hate dishes in the sink, I hate the laundry piled up, I hate so much, and I say hate but really it is that these things all make me anxious. I’ve said …
I’ve had anxiety since I was a child. I cannot really tell you when it started although there a few events I remember I know did not help the situation. Some of it was typical child related anxieties. I was shy but frightfully so. I’m not even sure my parents understood or understand to this day how much it physically hurt me to try to talk to people sometimes. I did not really talk about it and did not explain that much to them. It was not all the time. It did depend on the situation, but I hurt and just could not talk. Those situations included ordering food at restaurants. I usually told my dad what I wanted and had him order for me.
I have been a mom now for two years and I have yet to make a mom-friend. I read article after article, blog post after blog post, and see so many videos, vlogs, etc about the importance of making a mom friend. It doesn’t take long after having your first child why this is such a prevalent topic.
With the start of the new year I’ve decided I need to be more grateful. I need to remember my blessings more, stop complaining, be happy, and live in the moment. In an effort to do so I’ve started declaring one thing I’m thankful for a day. I’m doing so on my Instagram feed check it out at @ssageadvice.
I do wonder where I would be had I made a different decision. I was afraid. I feared failure. I feared loneliness. I feared the unknown. And honestly, I still fear all of those things. That fear kept me from reaching something that may have been everything to me. That fear still keeps me from so many things.