It can be hard for most anyone to not have this thinking style at least at times.
Personalization is another cognitive distortion, a very unhelpful thinking style that can harm our inner voice and self esteem. Personalization is when we take things extremely personally or tend to blame ourselves for events out of our control.
There are many ways personalization applies in our thinking it can be that a friend had a bad time at a party and you blame yourself. It can be because you were late to dinner the cook burned your food. It can be because you were simply there you caused bad karma for others. There are so many ways we blame ourselves.
How is personalization harmful?
When we are unable to control an event yet blame ourselves for the outcome we are in a constant losing spiral. How can we win when we have no control? How can we come out on top when it’s likely any negative outcome we will blame ourselves? This leads to a lot of self blame and with that self blame, negative self talk, low self esteem, and greater self hatred.
How can we change our thinking?
Take account of what you can and cannot control. You cannot always control an event. You cannot control how others see or feel about you. You cannot control how someone else is feeling in a situation. When you’re able to realize you have no control you’ll be able to take heed that you are not at fault.
How to act in kindness of yourself.
One of the most important steps in changing your inner voice is finding love and compassion for yourself. If you tend to use personalization a lot in your thinking style this is especially necessary. Remember what you can control and what you cannot then if you are at fault for any given situation, learn to forgive yourself.
Subscribe Here.… Do not miss a post!
[…] Thinking Style: Personalization […]
I am loving this series. I wish I had changed my internal voice earlier. I started actively trying to do it about 2 years ago – it has been life changing but is a constant thing you need to work on all the time.
Oh, this one is important! It can be so harmful to take too many things personally! I think your point about remembering what you CAN control is so helpful! Especially when dealing with other people!
I always say that other people’s actions and words are a reflection of them and not me.