How to Give a Strong, Warm, Comforting Hug

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There are many different things I learned in school, giving a hug wasn’t one of them. I have an MBA in Entrepreneurship. One thing they teach you in business school is the art of first impressions. You learn about elevator pitches and hand shakes. They teach you how to give a strong, confident hand shake, but they do not teach you how to give a strong, warm, comforting hug. Why? Well because rarely do we hug in a business setting.

When would we need to know how to give a good hug?

We give hugs to family, friends, loved ones. Sometimes we give hugs to strangers. Sometimes we will give hugs to acquaintances. Hugs are a great way to show others you care, love them, want to reassure them. Hugs are a wonderful way to show others they are not alone.

What does a hug do? How does it make us feel?

Hugs give us a feeling of love, warmth and reassurance. When we give a hug, or receive a hug, we are aware that we are not alone. There are others that care about us. Some days hugs are a necessity. They relieve stress and anxiety. There are so many days I need a good hug. There are so many days I love giving out good hugs to those that need them. Hugs improve our health.

What makes up a good hug?

Well maybe its best to start out with what does not make up a good hug?

A good hug is not weak. A good hug is not light. A good hug is not fearing touch.

A good hug IS strong, a good hug is warm, a good hug shows you have no fear of the other person. A good hug takes longer then a couple pats to the back. A good hug has a squeeze or two.

How do you give a good hug?

Go in confidently

Make a decision and stick with it. Are you going to give a hug? Then do it. Go in for the kill and be confident. It can be very obvious to others if you’re hug is not confident and it can be deterring to that person. Why are you not confident? Do you want to be hugging them? Do you trust them? Do they smell? Believe me, a lot of the time when I do not get confident hugs I wonder what makes that person unsure about hugging me.

Put some strength into it

There are few things I hate more then what I call a “weak ass hug.” This is something that is just like a good handshake. Put some strength into it. Your arms should actually touch the person. You should even give them a little squeeze.

Take a breath

Do not release the hug until you’ve at least taken one deep breath. It’s the perfect amount of time. Not too long, not too short.

Hugs to comfort others

When you’re giving hugs to comfort others let them choose how long the hug will last. When someone really needs to be comforted, when they really need a hug, they may need a long, strong, hug. Let them choose how long it lasts. Stay confident in the hug until you feel them releasing. Let them cry on your shoulder if need be and let them bask in your warmth and comforting arms.

Remember these things because, I know I cannot speak for others, but I personally hate a weak, sad, light hug. I do however LOVE a strong, warm, confident hug.

What are key features you think are needed for a good hug? Do you like to hug?


Spread love and joy, hugs matter.

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39 thoughts on “How to Give a Strong, Warm, Comforting Hug

  1. We all need a good hug. Sometimes more than other times. Sometimes when we’re feeling down, all we need is a strong hug to help us feel better.

  2. A good tight hug always helps in breaking the ice.Our world definitely needs more compassion and loads of hugs!

  3. I never really thought about this. I used to be a big hugger and then the older I got, the less hugs I gave and received. With that being said, my children receive daily hugs from me and if a friend is in need of a hug, I’m all for it! I’ll have to remember your tips! 🙂

  4. I know a lot of people who are not huggers. They just don’t like to be touched. I’ve embarrassed myself a few times because I’ll hug you the first time I meet you like I’ve known you forever. I’ve had to learn to wait and see how the other person feels. But my kids – they get big ol’ Bear hugs everyday!

  5. You are talking to a hugger here. I love to hug and think it is wonderful and brings people close. Business setting isn’t really a hugging place. I have had to teach some family members to hug but they come around.

  6. Hugging really is an artform in its own rights. I mean if you looking for a strong hold and you are given a wea hug that is lacking then your still left seeking that comfort. Now you should do a post about seeking signs of a person who needs a hug. Because I know sometimes I don’t needs words but just a simple hug.

  7. Giving and receiving hugs are so comforting for me. I know how much a good hug can turn a mood around, so I try to make sure that I always make mines memorable.

  8. Ugh, I’m so NOT a hugger! Especially not unless I’m super, super close to a person. The best thing anyone can do for me is make me a cup of tea or just talk while keeping their hands to themselves. I know a lot of people are huggers but I’m not one of them.

  9. Many is the time I have received a weak hug and wondered about it. Teaching I try to convert the face-to-face hug into a side hug, sometimes to the disappointment of a student or two. I may want to rethink how to handle that.

  10. WOW, so funny to see this. I just told my daughter the other day that I need a strong hug, she looked at me like Mom, what do you mean. I told her I need a stern hug that says I LOVE YOU, not a quick hug and you run out the door. I do believe that certain hugs relay a message to that person.

  11. I love this post! In school, our kids are taught to keep their hands to themselves but sometimes they just need a hug from a friend when they fall down or get a bad grade. Even as adults, we need to hug each other and comfort each other. Thanks for the reminder!

  12. Oh I love this! Isn’t it funny how some people give better hugs than others? My best friend gives the best hugs ever, they make me feel so much better!

  13. Thanks for your post about how to give a good strong hug. It’s also good to be aware when people don’t want to be hugged.

  14. This post made me smile. My husband and son have been out of the country for a few weeks and I cannot wait to give them both a really warm comforting hug! I did not realize how much I missed them until right now.

  15. I am not a huger. I grew up with no signs of affection in my home. If I saw someone give a hug my anxiety shot to who died?, seriously. When I grew up and found out what hugs actually felt like I wanted them but not from anyone other than my immediately family. My children are much better that I am at hugs but they could still have room for some improvement.

  16. My husband isn’t a hugger at all. He enjoys hugs from me and our kids, but if anyone else tries to hug him he freaks out.

  17. This is something I need to remember every single day!A hug is something that I really need. I am working abroad. I am badly missing my family especially my kids, I want to hug the.

  18. I have to say I’m not much of a hugger, just with my family though. I think it depends in part what you are used to and how you were raised.

  19. That’s a very interesting topic for a post 🙂 hugging is very important, as long as it’s honest and heartfelt of course…it gives you a lot of energy..loved the post, keep up the great work!

  20. I love that you have written a whole post on the art of giving a great hug, this is awesome indeed and really made me smile! Is there anything better in life than a hug that warms your soul?!

  21. I love this post and I love hugs too! I hug my daughter and husband every day and those are the best moments of the day. A great hug can help people so much.

  22. I’m not much of a hugger but with my kids I am so we practice this a lot!! Hugs tend to brighten up any day!

  23. I love hugs! As long as I know the person and I want to hug them that is! I believe I am a good hugger – I like strong hugs, not those pathetic things people do where they barely put their arms around you – what’s the point of this! I fancy a hug now after reading this post!

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