Blog For Mama Mental Illness Parenting

4 Reasons I Am A Cautious and Anxious Mom

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I admit it I can be over protective, cautious and anxious, of my kids in some manners. I also can be very easy going in others. Before becoming a mom, I always had this expectation that it was going to be hell for me because I am constantly worrying. I am a worry-wart. I worry about so much. I would babysit my nieces and nephews and be the fun aunt, but I just had this expectation that as a mom it would be hard for me to just let them be.

After my daughter was born I definitely did get very over protective over many things. Like many first-time moms do, I did not know what to expect, so I tended to be over protective. As time has gone by, and as my son has come and grown through his first year, I’ve definitely relaxed, a bit.

But I still know many people that think I still have a stick up my ass. Why? Well they think this because I do things differently than they do. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m wrong, that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m being anal, over protective, or too rigid in general. It just means I have my concerns and demand respect for how I want to raise my children.

How am I cautious? What makes me anxious?

I have very specific concerns that I have actual phobias towards.

For instance, I am very phobic about myself and my kids being even close to anyone smoking. My family has a history of lung cancer. Everyone in my family that has been diagnosed with lung cancer has died and each of those individuals were smokers at least at one point in time.

I have a very strong belief, based on scientific research, that there are genetic factors in the cause of many cancers. My family has shown signs that if they smoke, they will end up with lung cancer. It may not be until after a long life, but even if you have had long, full life smoking, dying a harsh and painful death with lung cancer isn’t worth it to me.

I am very strict on my children’s nap times, bed times, and general routine.

My children do not have the strictest routine but when it comes to nap time and bed time I can be very strict. Why? Because mommy doesn’t want to deal with the cranky, overly tired baby/toddler that we get when they miss a nap or are late to bed. It’s selfish, I know, but it will not change.

So, if you schedule an event; bbq, dinner, party, whatever, that’s in the middle of their nap time or late in the evening, you better expect we are either late, early, stay a short time, or do not come at all.

I do not appreciate my children being passed around to people I do not know (or people my husband does not know)

My husband and I are both this way, but we’ve had to be more lenient based off the others word. For instance, if he knows someone, but I don’t, I take his word for it. But neither of us appreciate our children being passed around. They are not a side show they are children. Sure, they are cute, adorable, fun, but that does not mean every single person you are an acquaintance with should get a chance to hold them.

If we go out to an event, party, bbq I will have an eye on my kids at all times and I do not really trust others to help.

I know I probably should ease up on this a bit. It can be hard for me to trust others keeping an eye on my children when there’s a big event. Why? Because the point is to get together and socialize, talk, have fun, usually drink. Doing all of those things are a very big distraction to keeping an eye on the children.

How does this affect me? I do not socialize well, I try to get into conversations,  I try to be social, but I tend to be the opposite. I get distracted away from socializing because I am watching my children. This often is why people think I have a stick up my ass. I come across as aloof.

It can be hard being a mom.

It can be even worse when you feel like you’re being judged for your choices. I can be very cautious with my kids. I can be very anxious, but you know what makes me more anxious. Feeling like I’m judged for being who I am. I cannot always stop my anxiety, but I can ask for respect and understanding.


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  1. I totally agree with you about the people I don’t know holding my daughter.. it blows my mind that people think that doingthat is okay..

  2. I think you have to do what you think is right and go along with what makes you comfortable! We were very strict about who could visit our baby during the first couple of months and I know a lot of people didn’t understand it. We were just doing what we felt was the best decision to protect him from germs! I’m sure we were called overprotective!

  3. Your concerns are understandable! don’t worry about what others may have to say

  4. Yes we all need to be aware of our kids at events and not rely on others to watch them is my favorite tip. Thanks for all the good tips!

  5. I have always been a little on the more cautious side with my kids and I think that’s good. I have gotten a little more lenient after having my 3rd but I definitely think a good amount of caution is important to protect your children

  6. I am also very strict with bedtime with my 4 year old. If he doesnt get enough sleep he is really cranky

  7. I’m with you, especially on passing my kids around.

  8. I’m right there with you on wanting to keep an eye on my kids at all times. I have some family members who feel like just because we are at a family function they don’t have to keep an eye on their kids. I’ve had to stop their kids from many dangerous situations that the parents were oblivious too. It makes me so mad.

  9. caution is always good… and while i don’t think i have ever passed my kids around to someone i don’t know because the need or occasion had not arisen when they were that young, i don’t think i would be comfortable about that too..

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