Bad habits can prevent you from accomplishing your goals. When you have obstacles it can be harmful for our own self worth. When we have more and more obstacles to reach our goals it can be hard to stay motivated and positive.
What Are Bad Habits?
Habits can be both positive and negative. Bad habits have a negative impact on us and those around us. They may be harmful to our health, like smoking, or an announce to others around you, like talking during a movie.
Many bad habits effect how we think everyday. Many of the points that causes negative self talk discussed in this series are bad habits. Self Criticism can be a bad habit.
Examples of Bad Habits that are Harmful to Our Inner Voice
Comparing Yourself to Others
When we are constantly comparing ourselves to others we start to feel we are flawed. There will always be someone smarter, stronger, more patient and more happy (or seemingly). Constantly comparing feeds self criticism.
Not Having a Plan
Setting a plan for each day helps us accomplish more. When we accomplish more we feel happier and more motivated. We are all driven by feeling successful. Creating a plan and sticking to it can help build your self esteem and self confidence.
Trying to Please Everyone
There is no pleasing everyone. When we try we can feel like a failure. There will always be someone upset. When we take this personally we create self criticism. Also, when we try to please everyone we stretch ourselves too thin. We do not focus on our own wants and needs.
Turning to Substances to Cope
Substance abuse is very prevalent with those with low self esteem, high self criticism, and anxiety. Substance abuse, however, may only numb these feelings for a short time. As you become dependent on a substance the feelings just grow. Having the strength to cope without substance abuse, like drinking or doing illegal drugs, will help build your self esteem and self confidence.
Always Feeling Like The Victim
This is a form of negative self talk. When we are constantly negative and feeling like a victim we feel like we have no control. We lose ourselves in this feeling of helplessness.
Not Forgiving Yourself
If a situation happens and we do not forgive ourselves we build self criticism and self hate. This could be we made a mistake at work, we yelled at the kids because we were angry, we said something we shouldn’t have to a friend or family member. There’s always mistakes, we are not perfect, forgiving ourselves for those mistakes and learning from them is how we grow.
Saying “I Don’t Know How” or “I Can’t”
When we constantly say “I don’t know how….” or “I can’t…” we limit ourselves. Do not say either of these, especially “I can’t” unless you’ve actually tried. Once you’ve tried, how can you learn how?
How to Break Bad Habits
Choose a Substitute for Your Bad Habit
What are you going to do when you feel an urge to say “I can’t”? What are you going to do when you are avoiding a substance you use to cope? What are you going to do when you find you’re comparing yourself to others? Create a substitute and remind yourself when a bad habit pops up to switch gears to the positive substitute.
Remember It Takes Time to Break Habits
Do not expect a change immediately. You have to work at changing habits.
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