It’s often hard for moms to be easy going. It’s often hard for everyone to be easy going. There’s so much out there that can make us question, that can frighten, that concerns us, and causes anxiety. There are so many things that we have no control over that make us control what we feel we can.
What is easy going?
Easy going for us moms, is the ability to accept your parenting style and not comparing or judging others. It is slowing down and enjoying the moment rather then thinking forward to bed time, the next day, or the weekend with five birthday parties to go to. Easy going is not getting upset over spilled milk, a messy house, or messy car. It is taking things in stride and trying at least to be spontaneous.
If you find yourself, the majority of the time, stressed and tense then perhaps you should work on your ability to let go.
One major difference between my husband and I? He’s much more easy going. He’s not a planner but more a fly by the seat of his pants kind of man. I plan, I organize, and I get very upset when things do not work out as planned. I definitely have grown and changed a lot in the last five years with his influence but I myself could still take a lot of these methods and insert them into my day to day living.
Do Not Internalize Problems
If you have a problem, someone hurt you, you’re angry or upset, then say something. Internalizing problems helps us just stew on them. Then when we are stewing on them we are not moving on. We are not forgiving and we are not living in happiness.
Consider if There’s Something You Can Do
This is huge. If you’ve ever heard the serenity prayer you may understand this…
So often we find issues with things that we cannot truly change. When we do not have a power to change it we should let it go, we can change our reaction. But lets not forget the rest of this. When we can change something, do so.
Question What Really Matters
Sometimes we have to pick our battles. I’ve thought about this a lot lately with my daughter. I constantly worry she’ll seriously injure herself because she is a climber. She climbs on everything. She however does has good spacial reasoning, balance, and sense of self preservation. So, rarely does she fall and rarely does she seriously get hurt. So why do I constantly try to get her to stop? I’ve decided to its a useless battle. I of course watch her, I guide her while she’s climbing, I try to reminder her to be careful, but I do not stop her.
Know Your Priorities
What matters most. Consider what does and what doesn’t. If you realize, after something, happens that it is little compared to your plans and priorities it’ll be easier to let it go.
Focus on the Positive, Practice Gratitude
Everyday you should be grateful for what you do have. When you are, it’s easier to focus on your dreams and take set backs with ease.
Spent Time with Positive People
This is so very important in everybody’s life. If someone is negative, angry, depressing, and a bad influence, then keep them at arms length if not further away. You do not need to be brought down by others. You deserve to be lifted up by others and to spend time with those that make you feel good.
Go With The Flow
Take life one step at a time. Sometimes plans change on a whim and if they do just make the proper adjustments and move on.
Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness
YOU are the only one that has control over your life. If you end the day thinking “Today would have been so much better if Joe hadn’t spilled that coffee on me” or “I’m broke because my father wouldn’t loan me money” then perhaps you need to take things into perspective and remember who has control. You are the only one that controls your own well being and moods.
Self Care & Live Your Passions
Take time for yourself. Relax, enjoy the moment, and do what you need to care for yourself. This often times means taking time for what you’re passionate about. Do you love to draw, garden, sew, cook, read, write, then do it.
Be Comfortable With Who You Are
You can never feel complete if you’re constantly comparing yourself to others. You are a unique being. Be happy with who you are.
Stop Worrying What Other People Think
When you spend day after day worrying about others you’re often times losing yourself. We, as humans, have this bad habit to change ourselves for others. But then when we are not being ourselves, we are not happy either.
Process Before You React
Think before you speak. A sudden change in plans may take you back, you might initially react with frustration, anger, sadness, (I definitely do often), however, after you take a minute sometimes we realize the change is actually for the better. Take a second, think through the outcomes, then speak.
Do Not Say ‘No’ Without Considering Your Options
I admit it, I do this way too much. My husband often has to convince me of things. When we say no without thought we’re shutting ourselves off to opportunities, activities, experiences that could be life changing.
Do Not Over Pack Your Schedule
When we have every minute of the day scheduled we have no room for change. No room for adjustment and no room for additions. Give yourself free time, time to be spontaneous, time to be free.
Keep Things in Perspective
So, I’m a toddler mom, this always makes me think of the movie Trolls. Branch is asked to give a high five and he refuses time and time again even though the high five will mean the cloud will show him a safe route to go. Poppy yells at him “Branch! It’s just a high-five! The others lead to certain death! Get perspective!”
So often we are caught up in doing or not doing something, in doing so, we often lose perspective over whats important, whats life changing, or even unsafe.
Take a Step Today
The road to become easy going will not happen over night. Choose one method and remember it as you go through your day. I recommend starting with ‘Don’t Say ‘No’ Without Considering Your Options’
No, I Cannot Just Relax: Mom Anxiety and Worry
I love the “process before react”. I think that is such an understatement & most easily forgotten statement. I think processing before reacting would help to not overreact to something so simple. Great read!
Yes! I definitely struggle with this myself and could really use your suggestions.
I think I need daily reminders to help me with this!
I really struggle to stay positive when I get around negative people. I try to avoid them as much as possible.
Such an important post and a great reminder not to internalize issues to stay level headed.
This is so true. I often have to remind myself to take a step back and think big picture. Being stressed all the time is not good and not good for my kids.
I loved every suggestion here. Another one I can add is, Just be mindful. Be in the moment and have gratitude.
A lot of great reminders! I am pretty easy going and positive, but I have my days where I struggle. These are good tips to get through those bad days.
I love this post. I’m finding the “process before you react” step really does wonders recently. If I automatically get frustrated/irritated I stop and ask myself if it matters that much. So many gems in this that could turn your life around <3
I definitely need to work on being more easy going. These are really great tips, especially the processing before reacting!
I love all these suggestions. its too easy for me to get caught up in the negative!
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i totally agree with these methods; and i do know i need to work more on processing before reacting..