Trying to conceive is a huge moment and decision for any couple. If it does not happen the first try then it can be nerve wracking, the process can cause a huge emotional toll. It’s actually not very common that couples are able to get pregnant right away. Even without any fertility issues many couples will not be successful until 6 months to 1 year after starting to try.
Especially when this time is not spoken about, we can often live in an isolated hell while trying desperately to conceive. The stress can pile up and often times stress can make it harder to conceive.
Then, often times when you do tell others, the advice can just make the feelings and stresses worse. It’s important during this time to practice self-care. There’s nothing more important, when trying to conceive and then growing a tiny human, to take care of yourself, your health, your mental health and everything in between.
It’s not easy, but here are some great ways to practice self-care during this tedious and stressful time:
Make Time for Yourself, Take Breaks
When our lives are busy, especially while already parents and trying to conceive again, it can be hard to just take a moment to yourself. Take a break, have a bath, go to the grocery store alone, be alone and relax.
Talk to Your Friends
Do not suffer in silence. If the time it is taking to conceive is stressful, then talk to someone. Let them support you. This can be your spouse, friends, family, your doctor, anyone that has an ear to listen and you trust. Just being able to discuss your feelings and emotions can be a huge relief.
Create a Soothing Environment
When we are stressed any little thing can just add on to the pile. This can be a toxic friend or family member, a stressful job, a stressful home, anything. Find a way to create a soothing environment to either live in all the time or you can go to when you need to decompress. Avoid people that stress you out. Find what makes you feel calm and collected.
Make sure when you have the chance, you sleep. Go to bed early and take naps. Again, if you’re already a mother this can be hard, but once you get your kids to bed at night, go to bed yourself.
Remember to Eat
Your body needs proper fuel and nutrition to be able to do the processes it was meant to do. That means for you to conceive you need to be healthy and eating. Do not miss a meal. Try to eat healthy, nutritious meals, but remember a treat every once in a while, is okay to.
Remember to Drink Water
Same as needing food, your body needs water. Drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. Stay hydrated not only will you be keeping your body healthy, you’ll feel good.
Remember if you are not in this situation, or if you are not now, that others around you may be going through a rough time. If you want to comfort them there are many things you should not say:
“Just Relax and It Will Happen”
Have you ever been told to calm down? Has it ever actually helped you calm down? For me, often times it just makes me more stressed, anxious, and angry. It’s the same concept when being told “just relax.” You better expect you’re just actually making it worse.
“It’s God’s Will”
No matter if you’re religious or not, being told that God may not want you to have a kid is crap. Honestly, as a Christian woman, God does not have a say. It’s science, it’s luck, it’s everything but a higher power causing you to have children or to not have children.
“When Are You Going to Have a Baby?”
No matter the couple, married or not, together for months or years, do not ask when they are having kids. First, it’s disrespectful to assume they want kids, if they don’t believe me, they’ve been asked many times why and it’s none of your business. Second, if they are trying and unable to conceive, your constant reminder causes more stress and grievances.
“I Got Pregnant on My First Try”
Do not boast about your easy pregnancies. This can be hard. It can be hard to simply share something, and it be taken wrong by different people. Just try to be conscious of what you’re saying and when. It may have been easy for you but the person you’re talking to may be having a terrible time.
Remember trying to conceive is different for everyone. Try to be respectful of others and make sure to take care of yourself while you’re trying.