I have been a mother for 14 months. I have an absolutely beautiful and smart little girl. This past year has flown by. There have been good days and bad. There has been utter exhaustion and complete joy. I have to admit right off that bat that becoming a mother is the greatest accomplishment I’ve ever had.
Although, I’ve never experienced anything more lonely. As you become a parent it’s inevitable that you’ll lose friends. You’re moving into a part of your life, marriage, building a home, and family, and there’s bound to be at least a few of your friends that are not in that same place anymore. There are bound to be some friends that no longer understand you and do not understand the new restrictions your life has been under while you raise a child and your focus moves to keeping them alive on a daily basis. Losing friends or just seeing friends less has been hard. Not being able to just on a whim say “Lets go to a movie.” Of course, lets face it, I’ve always had busy friends and I’m not sure we were ever plans on a whim kind of people.
You have constant companion but until they can actually speak, it is a companion that is utterly cute and the best thing that has happened to you, but not the best ear to listen if you need it.
A few things that have helped me throughout this year are: First and foremost my absolutely amazing husband, Mike. If it weren’t for him and his support I’d be lost. There are days where I’m just absolutely physically and emotionally exhausted and he takes the brunt of all my distain for the day. He takes it with stride and it’s much worse now as I’m pregnant with our second child. Second, my mother, If I didn’t have my mother helping me, listening to my fears and concerns, listening to my nonsense drama and letting me vent I don’t know what I’d do. My parents are excellent with my daughter. They will get down on the floor and play with her, they’ll chase her down the hall and dance with her to “The Hot Dog Dance.” It lightens my heart every time.
My daughter, Gwenie, has been a very easygoing baby. I do fear slightly that with the second one coming it’ll be a drastic difference. She has always been so mellow. Even now she’s one tough cookie. She will fall, get bumps and bruises as she has been learning to walk, she just picks herself up and keeps going. She rarely cries from getting hurt and she is almost always happy. She is also the easiest sleeper (getting to sleep). She has rarely fought naps or going to bed at bedtime. She did have trouble for a while with middle of the night wake ups but she’s even past that now. It’s amazing. I guess there’s no knowing for sure how our new baby boy will do.
Ultimately, It has been an amazing year. It’s been very stressful and absolutely amazing all at the same time. I don’t know of anything better and over this last year I’ve gained such a respect for all mothers. There’s just a certain kind of strength women have to have to be a mother. It’s hard, its tiring, its time consuming, and if you don’t watch it you could easily lose yourself in the mix, but it is the best feeling in the world raising this little human to be a good person. Mothers we need to stick together. Be a sounding board, be each others support systems, and keep raising our children the best we are able to.