Parenting comes with so much joy, but also exhaustion, frustration, fear, and guilt. Each family has their own parenting style, rules, and goals, but it is hard not to compare. There can be this constant feeling as if you’re not doing enough as a parent. Mom guilt can come from many different sources such as societal expectations, parenting books, social media, family expectations, judgmental acquaintances or even strangers.
Having some mom guilt can be productive. It is good to worry and pay attention to our child’s needs and how we are meeting them. However, mom guilt can get out of control. What works for your family should not be changed because your mom guilt is taking over and you’re changing decisions based on guilt and comparisons to others.
How should you make sure mom guilt is not taking over?
Take a Break
Do what you can to remember, you know your family and kids best. It can be hard to see other families, other mothers, and other children and not compare. Take a break for yourself when thoughts of mom guilt may be getting a little too overwhelming. Take a bath, get a pedicure, do whatever you can that’s relaxing.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Mom guilt grows and feeds off negativity around you. Make sure your family, friends, and other acquaintances are supportive. No passive aggressive comments, parenting judgment, or comparative and rude boasting.
This can mean getting space from people that cause guilt in you. Perhaps you have a family member that constantly brags about their child’s accomplishments. If your own child is behind or not progressing the same manner it can be hard to not compare and feel guilty over your own child’s abilities. Set personal boundaries and remind yourself of your own child’s strengths when you are around the extensive braggers.
Consider the other person’s perspective
When you’re met with advice or parenting opinions remember that person is speaking from their own perspective. It’s very likely they do not understand your family dynamics or child’s special needs.
Remember your child loves you
Mom guilt can take over and we can feel like we are failing, especially when we have rough days. But, most the time, our kids see the good and their love can be unconditional. Remember you’re doing your best.