Everyone has heard ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ or ‘behind every great mom is a tribe of other great moms who have her back’ or ‘Thankful for my tribe’ and I’m stumped. Where’s my village, where’s my tribe.
I have always been a relatively shy person at first but then very social. I have had so many settings growing up where I had supportive friends, many different acquaintances and many people I thought I could always count on. Sometime after becoming a mother, those people I thought I could count on, disappeared.
It was not an immediate shift.
More slowly disappearing friends as I had each additional child (I only have 3), I cannot imagine what it would be like had I continued having more kids.
I know what you might say.
Find your tribe then, go to church, join a mom group, use one of those apps like Peanut. Well, I have a huge aversion to judgmental moms.
I am Christian, I could go to church and find a tribe, but I have an aversion to organized religion. I am Christian but it is hard to find truly inclusive churches. You know, churches that do not have others judging others. Very unchristian, I agre
Mom’s groups are hard because others can be so judgmental about even the simplest parenting choices.
I do not cloth diaper, I do co-sleep for a time and I did breastfeed but stopped with all three kids by 4 months. I DO VACCINATE MY CHILDREN. My kids do get screen time and often unrestricted screen time. No matter what I do it seems like I’ll be judged.
Oh, lets not even start on me personally, a tattooed mom, I never do my makeup, doing my hair is usual a quick brushing through and I’m not afraid to cuss in front of my children.
So, if you need a mom tribe yourself, or even just a friend, let me know. I could use some like-minded mamas to build a tribe of supportive, non-judgmental friends.