I have been a mom now for two years and I have yet to make a mom-friend. I read article after article, blog post after blog post, and see so many videos, vlogs, etc about the importance of making a mom friend. It doesn’t take long after having your first child why this is such a prevalent topic. Being a mom is lonely, it’s tiring, it’s thankless at times, it’s also rewarding, it’s absolutely wonderful, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. But, I know I’m repeating myself here, it’s lonely.
At least as a stay at home mom, my day consists of baby drool, toddler babble, and a ton of wiping asses. It does not consist of a lot of adult conversation.
Many, really all, of my close friends from before I became a mom are not moms. Since I’ve become a mom I have lost friends and others I know are still there but it’s 1. hard to get together with them, and 2. they can get tired of the endless baby and poopy diaper talk from you. When your day literally consists of baby feedings, play with blocks, dominos, play-do, and a lot of diaper changes it can be hard to come up with other conversation topics.
Why have I not found a mom-friend yet?
Well, this is partially an excuse I’m sure, but I’m an introvert. I hate small talk, I hate having to make the first move, and I hate disappointment. It really is like dating and I thought I’d be done with dating when I met my husband.
Man, did I have a rude awakening.
I also fear judgment towards my daughter and me. We took a mommy and me dance class earlier this Fall, my daughter was the inattentive, independent, one. She was all over the place. She didn’t need to stay by mommy’s side because she was shy. She was not the one that followed every little task by the teacher. She was the one hanging off the ballet bar and turning up the volume on the teachers ipod during class.
I love her for her independence but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t dread going to class because I felt like the other mothers were judging me and judging my child. I never tried to strike up a conversation with them because of this. I never tried to make a mom friend from that class.
I’ll take the kids to the park and play with them. I find moms sitting on benches, or following their little ones around. There may be small talk here or there but little else. I need to come out of my shell I know. There are actual apps now for this because so many people find it hard. I’ve been trying the app Peanut. I will have a review blog post of the Peanut app soon.
But for now…
What do I hope for in a mom-friend?
• I hope to find a mom-friend I can talk to when I really need it. Someone I won’t feel like I’m just bugging or annoying.
• I hope to find a mom-friend that thinks like I do. That has relatively like parenting styles and does not judge me for anything we differ in.
• I hope to find a mom-friend who is funny and can take life with a grain of salt when need be.
• I hope to find a mom-friend that may also have a great husband friend for my husband. Perhaps we find good couple friends all at once.
• I hope to find a mom-friend with kids about the same age as mine.
• I hope to find a mom-friend that I will consider my best friend.
• I hope to find a mom-friend I can complain to when I need to and tell her that some days I just wish I were done but she understands that I’m don’t really mean it because I absolutely love my kids and doing what I’m doing.
• I hope to find a mom-friend I can just call up, stick the kids with the husbands, and go see a movie with.
• I hope to find a mom-friend that truly likes me for who I am.
• I hope to find a mom-friend I can talk to about anything and everything and I know she will keep my confidence.
Do you have a great mom-friend? If so make sure you tell them how much you appreciate them. We’d all be a little less sane if we were not supporting one another.
Watch this great video. I love Cat & Nat and their Mom Truth videos.